


Liver

by Jay_eagle



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Douglas Whump, Epistolary, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MJN Air Is A Family, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-17 10:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 62
Words: 14,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5866234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_eagle/pseuds/Jay_eagle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Douglas isn't feeling very well. Mildly sickly, that's all he'll admit to... Until it isn't so mild, anymore.</p>
<p>Real-time fic; updates will be posted (largely in epistolary form) as and when the characters communicate them to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leisure](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=leisure).



> This fic is in response to a prompt from altered-eagle on Tumblr (no relation!) a shamefully long time ago - about 18 months - in which they requested a Douglas sickfic where he gets properly, properly ill. No guarantee of accuracy of any detail herein - it's largely based on my experiences as a patient, so don't rely on anything you see here. As if you would.

**Pilot’s Logbook: M. Crieff**  
  
---  
  
**Date**

| 

**Operating Crew**

| 

**Place**

| 

**Time**

| 

**Hours of Flight**

| 

**Fuel Uplift (litres)**

| 

**Captain’s Signature**

| 

**Observations, Notes (e.g. Defects, Repairs)**  
  
**Names**

| 

**Duties**

| 

**Departure**

| 

**Arrival**

| 

**Departure**

| 

**Arrival**  
  
30.01.16

| 

Martin Crieff

Douglas Richardson

Carolyn Knapp-Shappey

Arthur Shappey

| 

Captain

 FO

 

Cabin Crew Chief

Steward

| 

EGBZ

| 

EGET

| 

17:08

| 

18:32

| 

1hr 24

| 

800

| 

_M. Crieff_

| 

Straightforward flight, no adverse weather or delays. FO Richardson operating.  
  
31.01.16

| 

Martin Crieff

Douglas Richardson

Carolyn Knapp-Shappey

Arthur Shappey

| 

Captain

FO

 

Cabin Crew Chief

Steward

| 

EGET

| 

EGBZ

| 

15:01

| 

16:22

| 

1hr 21

| 

750

| 

_M. Crieff_

| 

Mild turbulence over North Sea. FO unwell (indigestion); I took the leg in consequence.  
  
 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

 

| 

   
  
 


	2. 18:06pm, 31/01/16

**Martin C (07700 900390)** : Did you get home alright?

 

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : Of course I did. Honestly, you do fuss.

 

**Martin C** : You said you'd text, that's all.

 

**Douglas** : Stop fretting, it's boring. I keep telling you, I'm fine, thanks. Just too much haggis in Lerwick last night, I expect.

 

**Martin C** : In that case I'd better have the whole cheese tray, next time.

 

**Douglas** : Not on your life.

 

**Martin C** : Ha. See you Tuesday? I'll pick you up.

 

**Douglas** : Let me know when, O mighty Commander-in-Chief.

 

**Martin C** : Will do. 

 

**Martin C** : And 'sir' will be just fine in future.


	3. 10.26am, 01/02/16

**Arthur (07551 797991):** What time should I bring the jigsaw?

 

 **Douglas **(07700 812905):**** ... as so often, Arthur, I feel I have missed several steps in your thought processes. What jigsaw?

 

 **Arthur:**  To help you feel better! Sorry, didn't I say? I'll come and look after you today if you like!

 

 **Douglas:** Oh. You didn't say. But it's fine. I'm perfectly alright.

 

 **Arthur:** You're all better? That's brilliant! You looked all clammy-pale yesterday, like Herc when I fed him that cheesecake that had been around for a while.

 

 **Douglas:** Yes. Almost better. Just having a lie down.

 

 **Arthur:** Sorry, I'll let you sleep. See you tomorrow for the trip to Hungary!

 

 **Arthur:** Do you think they eat lots there? 

 

 **Arthur:** Because they're Hungary! Get it?

 

 **Arthur:** Douglas?

 

 **Douglas:** Yes, Arthur. I do.


	4. 22:19, 01/02/16

**Martin C (07700 900390)** : Hope you're feeling better. I'll be round at 0920 to fetch you.

 

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : Fine.

 

**Martin C:** Douglas... are you sure you're OK?

 

**Douglas:** I'm FINE. Why do you keep pestering?

 

**Martin C:** I've just never known you reply with one word when eighteen would do, that's all.

 

**Douglas:** I'm just tired. See you tomorrow.

 

**Martin C:** Oh. Sleep well, then. 

 

**Douglas:** And you. Till tomorrow.


	5. 09:16, 02/02/16

**Whatsapp – Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**Sky God**

I’m so sorry. I’m not fit to fly. Martin, can you take this one?

 

**Supreme Commander**

Of course. Can I bring you anything?

 

**CEO**

What do you mean, not fit to fly?

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh no! Have you tried the children’s Calpol? That always makes me feel better

 

**Sky God**

I’m not 6, Arthur, so no; Martin, I’m fine, just need to lie down; Carolyn, I don’t know how I can rephrase the statement.

 

**Supreme Commander**

We’ll manage, Carolyn. On my way now.

 

**CEO**

You’d better be. Douglas – to a doctor. Alpha dog’s orders.

 

**Sky God**

Nothing a lie down and some paracetamol won’t fix. See you chaps when you’re back on Friday.

 

**Bear Expert**

Feel better!

 

**Supreme Commander**

Get well soon.

 

**Bear Expert**

We’ll tell you all about Hungary when we’re back!

 

**Sky God**

That’s what I’m afraid of.

 

**Sky God**

Have a good trip.


	6. 11:04, 02/02/16

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : You sent Arthur. ARTHUR.

 

**Carolyn (07784 968128):** Of course I did. Need to make sure you're not malingering. He'll keep an eye on you till Friday.

 

**Douglas** : I'm sending him back.

 

**Carolyn** : Too late. We're taxiing.

 

**Carolyn** : Just hurry up and get better. Let Arthur take care of everything.

 

**Carolyn** : Except the cooking, perhaps.

 

 


	7. 23:29, 02/02/16

**Arthur (07551 797991):** Mum? Any chance you're still up?

 

 **Mum (07784 968128):** I wasn't, but you've just woken me. What is it?

 

 **Arthur:** I'm sorry. I'll go away.

 

 **Mum:**  No, I'm awake now - tell me. Unless you're using the middle of the night to ask me what the other side of the moon looks like again, in which case I advise you to go rapidly to sleep yourself before I fly back from Budapest myself to throw you at said lunar body.

 

 **Arthur:** It's not that. It's Douglas. He's been funny all day.

 

 **Mum:** More so than usual? Funny how?

 

 **Arthur:** Very quiet. And I don't think it's because I'm here. And he's been sick a bit, but I didn't cook anything for him, I swear.

 

 **Arthur:** And I didn't mind, but now he's gone up to bed, and he's making noises like Snoopadoop did when she got that thorn in her paw.

 

 **Mum:** Has he seen a doctor?

 

 **Arthur:** He says he doesn't want to. But I don't think he knows I can hear the whimpery sounds.

 

 **Mum:** Stubborn idiot.

 

 **Arthur:** Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry

 

 **Mum:** Not you! Him. You'll have to call the doctor out in the morning if he's no better. I expect he uses the same surgery we do. Call Dr Hague when the surgery opens - can you find the number?

 

 **Arthur:** It's saved in my phone.

 

 **Mum:** Good boy. Was there anything else?

 

 **Arthur:** No. Thanks.

 

 **Arthur:** I don't like not being able to make him feel better.

 

 **Mum:** I'm sure you're doing a sterling job, dear heart. I'll leave my phone on, in case.

 

 **Mum:** Goodnight x

 

 **Arthur:** Night, Mum. xxxx


	8. 08:31, 03/02/16

**Carolyn **(07784 968128):**** Did you get through to the doctor, Arthur?

 

**Arthur (07551 797991):** No. No, I didn't need to.

 

**Carolyn:** Oh, good. He's better? Tell him he can make himself useful in the portacabin, pronto.

 

**Arthur:** Um, I don't think he can. He's not really better.

 

**Carolyn:** What are you talking about?

 

**Arthur:** We're in Fitton General. There are lots of very friendly doctors though, so that's good.

 

**Carolyn:** The hospital??? What on earth happened?

 

**Arthur:** I couldn't sleep, because Douglas was still making wounded-Snoopadoop noises, and so I sat outside his door. Except then I must have fallen asleep a bit because the next thing I knew I'd woken up, and Douglas was shouting out, and so I ran in, and he was such a funny colour, and I thought about ringing you but you're so far away and I didn't know what to do... so instead I asked Douglas, because he always knows what to do. But he wouldn't answer me. And so I called an ambulance, instead.

 

**Arthur:** I hope that was alright. He's quieter now they've given him some magic drugs. We're just waiting for our own friendly doctor to come back.

 

**Carolyn:** Oh my goodness.

 

**Carolyn:** I'm sure you did the right thing - please keep me updated. Tell Douglas - tell him - he has to get better. That's an order. Tell him.

 

**Arthur:** Will do, Mum x


	9. 11:52, 03/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390):** Douglas - Carolyn just told me you're in hospital. I hope you're alright - what's going on? Is Arthur still with you?

 

**Martin:** Douglas?

 

 


	10. 18:49, 03/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**CEO**

What's happening? Arthur, I've been trying to ring you all day.

 

**Bear Expert**

Sorry Mum

I've had my phone switched off in A&E because the nurses said it could interfere with the equipment. Like on GERTI!

 

**CEO**

Never mind GERTI

 

**Supreme Commander**

How's Douglas? 

 

**Bear Expert**

He's having a scan just now. The one that pregnant ladies have.

 

**CEO**

An ultrasound?

 

**Supreme Commander**

Have they said what's wrong?

 

**Bear Expert**

That's the one! 

They took lots of his blood in those funny tubes

And then they said that his white blood cells were very high

 

**Supreme Commander**

So he's got an infection?

 

**Bear Expert**

I don't know

They won't always let me stay in the room because I'm not his family

 

**Supreme Commander**

Should we contact his family?

 

**CEO**

His next-of-kin information's in the office. Or perhaps Arthur could get it off him.

 

**Bear Expert**

I don't know, Mum, he's not making very much sense

For lots of the day he thought he was on GERTI. He wanted his logbook. 

I don't think he knew who I was.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Carolyn. What can we do?

 

**CEO**

We can't come home. We're needed here.

 

**Bear Expert**

It's OK, he's more awake now. He's just come out of his scan, and they've given him something stronger for the ouch.

 

**CEO**

Good. Arthur, have you asked if he wants us to ring Emily?

 

**Sky God**

Don't. 

 

**Supreme Commander**

Douglas!

 

**Bear Expert**

He wanted his phone.

 

**Sky God**

Don't ring her.

 

**CEO**

Douglas - she'd want to know.

 

**Sky God**

No, I don't want

 

**Bear Expert**

They've made him put his phone away. I think we're going to a ward. I have to put mine away too.

 

**CEO**

Call us later, Arthur. 

 

**Supreme Commander**

Douglas - if you get this - get well. Stop this messing about.

 

**Bear Expert**

Ooh, I don't think he's messing about, Skip.

 

**Supreme Commander**

I know.

Call us, Arthur. When you can.

 

**Bear Expert**

Will do.


	11. 22:19, 03/02/16

Arthur Shappey <arthur@mjnair.co.uk>

to: carolyn@mjnair.co.uk; captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk

_Today_ at 22:19

Hi Mum, hi Skip,

 

I think you'll be asleep now, so I thought I'd better email you instead of calling. Herc's just dropped me back at home - I didn't know he was in England, Mum! Or that you'd told him where I was. Douglas wasn't very pleased to see him, which was quite nice.

 

No, wait. I don't mean that it was nice that he was grumpy with Herc - I just mean that him _recognising_ Herc was nice, since he had the six hours of not knowing who I was. He knew Herc. So that's good, isn't it?

 

Sorry. You want me to tell you about Douglas. He is sleeping now - well I hope he is, he was asleep when I left. He didn't even manage to come up with any good insults for Herc, just... glared at him. Herc told Douglas he liked his jim-jams, though, so that was kind, don't you think? Though now I remember it, Douglas looked all sort of... fierce, when he did that. But then he fell asleep and the nurses said we had to go away.

 

No, I'm distracted. You want to know what the _doctors_ said. Herc might be able to explain it better, but they said there was some fluid in his tummy where there shouldn't be. Douglas' tummy, I mean, not Herc's. They said something about his liver, at least I think it was his liver. They're going to keep an eye on him in the night, but they said I can go back tomorrow, if I want, so I said of course I wanted to. I'll take him a jigsaw. 

 

Though he may not be feeling like doing one, I suppose.

 

... I'll take it just in case.

 

Hope Hungary is... well, I don't suppose it's brilliant, now you know about poor Douglas. But I hope you're both alright.

 

A


	12. 08:15, 04/02/16

**Carolyn (07784 968128):** Thank you for chauffeuring Arthur. He emailed me last night, but it was a bit hard to make out what was happening. Do you know?

 

 **Herc (07980 343245):** I think they've still some tests to do, but it looks - from Douglas' blood tests - like his immune system's reacting to something. They could see something on his liver, but they want to redo the scan under anaesthetic. I think they didn't dare examine him too closely because of the pain.

 

 **Herc:**  Also - thank you? That's the first time you've ever thanked me for anything. Things must have reached a desperate pass.

 

 **Carolyn:** Have they? Reached a desperate pass?

 

 **Herc:** Oh. Oh, no, darling. He'll be alright. You know Douglas. He's too stubborn to have anything seriously wrong with him.

 

 **Carolyn:** If you're fibbing to me...

 

 **Herc:** I wouldn't. I love you.

 

 **Carolyn:** Noted. 

 

 **Carolyn:** Look after them, Herc. We'll be back as soon as we can, but the client's refusing to leave any earlier.

 

 **Herc:** Wilco.

 

 **Herc:** Darling.


	13. 12:28, 04/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**Bear Expert**

Douglas is out of the theatre now

He is still very sleepy but he says he's alright

 

**Supreme Commander**

How is he?

 

**Bear Expert**

He says he's fine.

 

**Supreme Commander**

He's demonstrably NOT fine, Arthur! What do the doctors say?

 

**CEO**

Ignore Douglas, Arthur, our first officer's a first class idiot. And you can tell him that from me.

 

**Bear Expert**

I read your messages to him. 

He doesn't look too happy.

 

**CEO**

Never mind that. What did they find? Have they said?

 

**Bear Expert**

Douglas has got a liver 

Abscess

Sorry I had to look that word up

 

**Supreme Commander**

Can they treat it?

 

**Bear Expert**

He's got some antibiotics now!

But they said that because his liver is poorly, his blood is unhappy

It won't clot very well

So they need to give him some

 

**CEO**

A blood transfusion?

 

**Bear Expert**

I offered them some of mine

I think it would be perfect, because that's what Douglas says I am

But they just smiled and said they had some already

 

**Supreme Commander**

Carolyn, we need to come home.

 

**Bear Expert**

It's OK. Herc and I are looking after Douglas!

He's got the blood up now. It's ever such a funny colour, you should see it!

 

**CEO**

No thanks.

Don't you dare send an image.

 

**Bear Expert**

Aw.

They're giving him something else, too - Herc says it's called Vitamin K

I didn't know the vitamins went as far as K!

 

**Supreme Commander**

I don't understand - Arthur, why do they need his blood to clot?

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh! I didn't explain that bit. Sorry. They want to do an operation on him tomorrow. To get the bad stuff out of his liver.

 

**CEO**

We'll come straight to the hospital when we land tomorrow afternoon. 

 

**Bear Expert**

Um. He's a bit weird about people seeing his pyjamas. But I don't see why - they're quite boring, really. Just tartan. No aeroplanes on, or anything.

Not like mine.

 

**Supreme Commander**

That doesn't matter. We'll be there as soon as we can.

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh good.

I wish you were both here.

 

**CEO**

Soon, Arthur. I promise.


	14. 19:10; 04/02/16

Captain Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 19:10

Douglas,

 

I don't know if you're checking your emails; I hope they've let you have your phone, but perhaps you're not feeling well enough to read it. So this might be all a waste of time. 

 

In case it's not, how are you doing? I'm sorry you're so ill - it sounds agonising. I hope Arthur's not driving you too mad. Carolyn and I will come and collect him tomorrow, and we've agreed I'll stay with you then. Hopefully that'll let you rest a bit. I promise I'll just sit quietly. You'll probably tell me to go away. Like you kept doing at the start of the week.

 

I wish I hadn't listened to you. I wish I'd taken you to the doctor myself, you stubborn idiot. How could you not realise something was so wrong? How could you keep telling us you were fine? You must have been in so much pain, and now you're so ill, and I can't do  _anything_ , except watch Carolyn flip through book after book without reading any of them and check her phone compulsively when she thinks I'm not looking. How could you think we wouldn't care enough to be concerned about what was happening to you? I'm  _furious_ with you. We care about you, you old fool.  _I_ care about you. For God's sake, why - WHY - didn't you tell me how ill you w

 

__\----------------_ MESSAGE NOT SENT - SAVED AS DRAFT----------------_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to all of you leaving such AMAZING comments to which I haven't managed to reply. I'm literally writing the fic day by day - nothing's pre-prepared - and I've discovered that working full-time, realtime updates, and replying to all the comments just doesn't work in terms of hours I'm awake... so I'm sorry, I can't reply to everyone. But please know that I still appreciate them just as very much as ever and I'm so grateful to you all for motivating my writing!


	15. 10:27, 05/02/02

**Carolyn (07784 968128):** Arthur, we're just about ready to take off. How's Douglas doing this morning?

 

 **Arthur (07551 797991):** Really really not good. He's asleep, but...

 

 **Arthur:** His face is all grey

 

 **Arthur:** And they've had to give him that drug that the policeman at school said was very bad. The one that begins with K.

 

 **Carolyn:** Vitamin K?

 

 **Arthur:** No. Keta-something.

 

 **Carolyn:** Ketamine. It'll help with the pain, Arthur. Until they can operate.

 

 **Arthur:** But when I got here, he thought I was coming to attack him. And he keeps seeing things when he's awake.

 

 **Carolyn:** That does it. Do you have his phone?

 

 **Arthur:** Yes. Why?

 

 **Carolyn:** I want you to look in his phone book, and find Emily's mother's number. Can you do that for me? Text it to me. Her name's Anna, I think.

 

 **Arthur:** 07324 972099.

 

 **Arthur:** Please come soon, Mum. I don't like this.

 

 **Carolyn:** Martin and I will be with you just as speedily as ever we can. I promise.


	16. 15:59, 05/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**CEO**

Arthur, we've just landed. We got delayed by ATC in Budapest. Martin's doing the shutdown checks and then we'll drive straight to you.

 

**Bear Expert**

They've just taken Douglas into theatre.

 

**Supreme Commander**

We're hurrying.


	17. 23:40, 05/02/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to emem2005@yahoo.co.uk

 _Today_ at 23:40

Hi Em,

 

Carolyn says she called your Mum to let you know I'm a trifle under the weather. I didn't want to worry you both, but no matter what she's said, I'm fine, darling. I've had a small operation today to get the infection out and I feel just fine. They're fussing a bit more than they need to and keeping me in just to be safe, but no need to come haring down to see your old dad - I'll be up and about in no time, and I've got lots of company - Martin's spent all afternoon with me, and he says he'll come back tomorrow too. 

 

I need to get some sleep now, it's late, but you take care and I'm sending lots of hugs x


	18. 10:57, 06/02/16

** Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air **

 

 

**CEO**

Martin, are you here yet? The sister on duty is being sticky about letting me in.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Just parked. I'll meet you at the ward. How is he?

 

**Sky God**

Who's 'he', the cat's father?

 

**Bear Expert**

You're awake!

 

**Sky God**

Of course I am.

 

**CEO**

No 'of course' about it. I'm coming in, ward regulations or no ward regulations.

 

**Supreme Commander**

How are you feeling?

 

**Sky God**

Perfectly OK. 

 

**CEO**

We're with him now, Martin. And he's not fine; he looks half-gone and the collection of bags and tubes attached to him makes him resemble a particularly abstract piece of modern art.

 

**Sky God**

Carolyn's exaggerating, as usual.

 

**Bear Expert**

I don't think Mum is exager- that word, actually. Douglas doesn't look that different to yesterday, Skip. 

Bit more awake, maybe.

 

**Supreme Commander**

I'm coming as quickly as I can - be with you in 2.

 

**Sky God**

You do fuss, all of you.


	19. 00:29, 07/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 00:29

Hi Douglas,

 

Sorry, I know you wanted me to email you this evening - or yesterday evening now - to let you know I'd managed what you asked, but my van job took forever, and then I got home and the students hadn't topped up the electricity meter, so I had to try and find an open paypoint at gone 11pm, and it's been a bit of a disaster.

 

I managed to pop round your house and find the things you were asking for - I couldn't find stripy pyjamas, but I found a blue pair that seemed clean. You really didn't have to keep looking all awkward and gruff for asking the favour, earlier, you know. It's the least I can do. If you think of anything else - _anything_ that would make you more comfortable - just say the word. I could see how hard you were trying today - not to show how painful it all is for you. And it was horrible to watch you pretending.

 

Perhaps I shouldn't tell you that your act isn't working, if that's what you need to do to cope. But I wanted to let you know - you don't have to pretend. At least, not for me.

 

Agh, I'm exhausted. I hope you're asleep. I'll see you first thing with your clean PJ's and the other stuff.

 

Take good care of you. Get better. Captain's orders.

 

M


	20. 09:53, 07/02/16

**Douglas **(07700 812905):**  **Oh, Em, please don't worry - I don't like to hear you sounding all upset. I'm going to be just fine, I just need some sleep. My crew are here keeping an eye on me.

 

**Douglas:** In fact, here's something to make you smile - the phlebotomist (that's the vampire nurse who takes blood) wasn't having any joy getting one of my naughty veins to pop up this morning because I was a bit chilly and shivery - so she decided to make me a foot-warming parcel! This is what it looks like:

 

**Douglas:** There, isn't that funny? Don't you worry about your silly old dad. I'm OK. I send you lots of love, sweetheart x


	21. 20:55, 08/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : I'm really sorry.

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : What for?

 

 **Martin:**  Rowing with Carolyn.

 

 **Douglas:** Since when have you needed to apologise to me for bickering with our CEO? It's never bothered you before.

 

 **Martin:** I shouldn't have been arguing in front of you.

 

 **Douglas:** Again, since when?

 

 **Douglas** : You've never displayed a guilt complex over standing your ground in the past.

 

 **Martin:** No, but... I shouldn't have been fighting at your bedside. You're not well.

 

 **Douglas** : It's a sickbed, Martin, not a deathbed. Hushed tones very much not necessary.

 

 **Douglas** : Lord knows, if they're insisting I stay here for another four weeks to have IV drugs piped into me, I shall need entertaining. And that little spat was the most amusing thing I've witnessed in days.

 

 **Douglas** : The varieties of red your face went would have put a Dulux colour chart to shame.

 

 **Martin:** You're just saying that.

 

 **Martin** : I shouldn't have stormed off. 

 

 **Martin** : I just can't believe she's sending Arthur and me away on this stupid job.

 

 **Douglas** : Really, what do you think will happen to me in your absence? I'll be fine.

 

 **Martin** : Given what happened the last time I flew off with that assurance of yours, you'll forgive me for not necessarily believing you.

 

 **Douglas** : ... I'm sorry.

 

 **Martin** : What?

 

 **Martin** : Douglas Richardson, apologising?

 

 **Douglas** : Alright, alright. No need to go on about it.

 

 **Douglas** : I just wanted to tell you. Sorry for scaring you.

 

 **Martin** : You're ill. You can't help it.

 

 **Douglas** : Hmm.

 

 **Douglas** : You have no idea how much I wanted to follow you out, earlier.

 

 **Martin** : You did?

 

 **Douglas** : Of course! Get home, forget the nurses fussing, get dressed for once. Hell, even standing up would be welcome, at this point.

 

 **Martin** : Oh! Of course. I understand.

 

 **Douglas** : Why? What did you think I meant?

 

 **Martin** : Nothing.

 

 **Martin** : Want Arthur and me to bring you anything back from Barcelona?

 

 **Douglas** : Just yourselves.

 

 **Douglas** : Save me from Carolyn and Herc's bedside manner as soon as you can, eh?

 

 **Martin** : Willingly. We'll be back as soon as possible.

 

 **Martin** : I wish I didn't have to go.

 

 **Douglas** : What? The mighty aviator, reluctant to take to the skies?

 

 **Martin** : There are more important things than flying. 

 

 **Martin** : Not many. But some.

 

 **Douglas** : Now I know I'm hallucinating again. 

 

 **Douglas** : Sorry, Martin. Have to sleep before they disturb me to hang up yet more sodding vancomycin, or whatever the foul antibiotic's called. See you when you're back.

 

 **Martin** : I'll email.

 

 **Douglas** : You'd better.

 

 **Martin** : Sleep well.


	22. 18:07, 09/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**Supreme Commander**

Arthur and I have just checked into our hotel. How's the patient?

 

**Bear Expert**

There's a brilliant room service menu!

 

**CEO**

No room service! Put it down, Arthur.

 

**Bear Expert**

Aw.

 

**Sky God**

The patient is just fine, with the exception of the deplorable drop in visitor quality that comes with the introduction of a certain Shipwright to my bedside.

 

**CEO**

The patient is talking nonsense. He's in a lot of pain, and we could hear him yelping down the corridor when they changed his drain earlier.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Douglas. Stop pretending you're OK.

 

**Sky God**

I'm not pretending. 

 

**Bear Expert**

Sorry you're so ouchy, Douglas. 

Skip and I could try some Spanish pharmacies? We could see if they have any better drugs to make you less sore?

 

**CEO**

It's a nice thought, dear, but I don't think anything will beat the morphine he's still being pumped full of.

We don't want you and Martin arrested for drug smuggling, after all.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Can you and Herc stay with him, Carolyn?

 

**Sky God**

I'd be perfectly happy without the latter.

 

**CEO**

We - yes,  _we_ , Douglas - certainly can. 

 

**Sky God**

Damn.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Good. I'll relieve you when I'm back on Thursday.

 

**CEO**

How was the flight? Client happy?

 

**Bear Expert**

He didn't like our wine list. But I did what you did and took his glass away and brought him the same one back and told him it was that castle that Douglas talks about and then he was happy.

 

**CEO**

Good grief Arthur, you're actually learning. Well done.

 

**Supreme Commander**

He toddled off to whatever conference it is he's attending and said he'd call us when he was ready to leave in two days, so we await his orders.

 

**CEO**

Bravo, minions. Go and get some dinner.

Somewhere competitively priced. You know the rules - they're not in abeyance in my absence.

 

**Supreme Commander**

We live to obey.

 

**Sky God**

Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Martin.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Just trying to fill in for you, Douglas. 

 

**Sky God**

Remind me to give you further instruction. You're not up to Richardson-levels of expertise in the cynicism arena just yet.

Buen provecho, anyway.

 

**Bear Expert**

Eh?

 

**Sky God**

Enjoy your meal.


	23. 07:55, 10/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : How are you doing? 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : If you knew how sick I am of that question...

 

 **Martin:** Sorry. I can imagine.

 

 **Douglas:** No, it's OK. Thank you for asking.

 

 **Douglas:** Basically the same as yesterday. In pain, and utterly fed up.

 

 **Douglas:** What are you going to do today?

 

 **Martin:** Well, the new issue of Airliner World is just out.

 

 **Douglas:** Oh, Martin. You're in Barcelona, for crying out loud.

 

 **Douglas:** _I_ could be reading Airliner World. Go and explore.

 

 **Martin:** See the sights, you mean?

 

 **Douglas:** Yes! You're young, you're in Spain... live a little.

 

 **Martin:** You mean like you did when you got mugged in Sao Paulo? Or so lost in Venice that we nearly had to call the police?

 

 **Douglas:** Then stay away from dark alleys and canals.

 

 **Douglas:** Just... have a look round. You might surprise yourself.

 

 **Martin:** On my own?

 

 **Douglas:** Or take Arthur.

 

 **Martin:** He's already gone. There's a 'horse dressing' thing on that Tiffy told him to go and see.

 

 **Martin:** I don't even know where to start.

 

 **Douglas:** Well, the Gothic Quarter is beautiful. The Sagrada Familia cathedral is the really famous thing, but I thought it was rather too touristy for my taste.

 

 **Douglas:** I wish I was there. I'd take you to the Park Guell.

 

 **Martin:** What's that?

 

 **Douglas:** It's designed by Gaudi, it's stunning. You'd like it.

 

 **Douglas:** Or maybe you wouldn't. It's nothing to do with aeroplanes.

 

 **Martin:** I'm sure you'd make me like it, if you were here.

 

 **Martin:** You have this annoying way of making everything seem interesting.

 

 **Martin:** Fine, I'll go. Aeroplanes aren't the ONLY thing I like.

 

 **Douglas:** You could've fooled me.

 

 **Douglas:** Tell me what you think of it when you get back. Enjoy your day.

 

 **Martin:** I hope yours is... bearable.

 

 **Douglas:** Herc's coming back. It won't be.

 

 **Martin:** Good luck. He's not that bad, really.

 

 **Douglas:** You try dealing with not being able to walk away from him for six hours, and see how YOU feel about him afterwards.

 

 **Martin:** Hmm. Catch you later. Take care.

 

 **Douglas:** Give Barcelona my best.


	24. 22:31, 10/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today,_ at 22:31

Evening,

 

Thought I'd better email rather than text in case you're sleeping. How was your day? Did Herc drive you crazy? Come to that, did Carolyn?

 

Arthur had a marvellous time at the horses, apparently. He took a lot of photos, all of which I had to sit through at dinner this evening (don't worry, I'll try and spare you from the same fate). Anyway, I expect it'll make Tiffy happy, so that's something.

 

Don't get too swollen with your own brilliance - that could be dangerous, in your state of (ill) health - but your recommendation was a good one. I found the Park, and it's sunny here today, so I enjoyed wandering around. Gaudi was certainly... original, I'll give him that. I wonder what he'd have been like designing planes? He'd probably make them viciously pointy. Definitely more colourful. Mosaic-y perhaps.

 

Oh, I don't know. I don't know how to make witty and insightful comments that would amuse you about what I saw today. I'm probably doing a terrible job at keeping you entertained. Apologies. I just know that I enjoyed my visit, and it's not something I'd have thought of doing without your inspiration, so... thank you.

 

I expect Carolyn told you - the client needs to stay an extra day, so I now have tomorrow free too. Arthur's over the moon as now he can stay for the dressage freestyle event all day, whatever that is - I caught something about dancing horses, but that could be Arthur's imagination running away with him, I don't know - so... anything else in Barcelona you'd recommend? What would you see, if you were here with me?

 

I won't ask how you're doing, since you don't like that question. But I'm wondering it, all the same.

 

Night - sleep well (or as well as you can with all the beeping machines and the nurses checking your obs every six hours).

 

M


	25. 08:11, 11/02/16

**Douglas (07700 812905):** Sorry for the slow reply. My phone ran out of battery. To answer your question, I really enjoyed the Picasso Museum the last time I was in Barcelona - you could try that. And there's a beautiful brasserie if you fancy some lunch. Expense Carolyn and tell her you ate my portion too.

 

**Douglas** : And your email was perfectly entertaining, never fear. I'll look forward to hearing about your day today if you get the chance to pop in tomorrow.


	26. 21:35, 11/02/16

**Carolyn **(07784 968128):**** Would you like me to pack anything for you for next week?

 

 **Arthur (07551 797991):** Pack?

 

 **Carolyn:** Yes. Pack. Don't tell me you've forgotten we're going to Lanzarote.

 

 **Arthur:** Oh! Are we still going?

 

 **Carolyn:** It's only for four days. Martin will be able to visit Douglas while we're away.

 

 **Arthur:** Will Douglas be alright? He won't be lonely?

 

 **Carolyn:** Anna might be able to bring Emily down to see him. I don't think he'll want us hanging around if that happens.

 

 **Carolyn:** Besides, Herc will be very disappointed if we don't go. Not that that matters, but he won't let the issue lie, if I know him.

 

 **Carolyn:** And you know how insufferable he can be if he doesn't get holiday time.

 

 **Arthur:** Does Douglas mind?

 

 **Carolyn:** Believe me, when I mentioned it to him and said we didn't have to go, he practically begged Herc and me to leave. It'll be fine. He just needs rest, and some more antibiotics.

 

 **Arthur:** OK. Can you pack Snoopadoop?

 

 **Carolyn** **:** NO.

 

 **Carolyn:** Every holiday for the last ten years, Arthur. If you weren't my favourite son, I swear to goodness knows what...

 

 **Arthur:** I'm your only son.

 

 **Carolyn:** Exactly. Thank your lucky stars. It's what's saved you so far.


	27. 11.05, 12/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Just at the airport, Douglas - anything you want me to pick up for you?

 

 **Martin:** Anything LEGAL, I mean? ;)

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Where's your sense of adventure, Martin?

 

 **Douglas:**... Some Amatller chocolate would be nice, if they have it. Not that I'm hungry right now, but I'm hoping to be again one day...

 

 **Martin:** I'll put Arthur on the case.

 

 **Martin:** I'll make sure he doesn't just get Toblerone, though. See you this afternoon.


	28. 20:40, 12/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Just left the hospital. Carolyn - he's got so thin. Even just since I last saw him. 

 

 **Martin:** Is there something that I don't know?

 

 ** **Carolyn (07784 968128):**** He isn't eating. They've said it's the infection, and the drugs. They'll take a while to work.

 

 **Martin:** He looks awful.

 

 **Carolyn:** What did you expect? That he'd be up singing and dancing?

 

 **Martin:** No, of course not.

 

 **Carolyn:** He just needs time. He'll get there.

 

 **Carolyn:** Try not to worry.

 

 **Martin:** Easy for you to say.

 

 **Carolyn:** It isn't, actually.


	29. 00:48, 14/02/16

**Douglas **(07700 812905)** : **Martin - are you awake?

 

 **Martin **(07700 900390)** : **I am, as it happens. What's up? Can't sleep?

 

 **Douglas:** No.

 

 **Douglas:** I do wish you'd let me give you the money to have your trousers dry-cleaned. I've a good mind to make Carolyn slip it into your jacket when you're not looking.

 

 **Martin:** I've told you about twenty times, you idiot. The washing machine in my house works just fine. It was only a bit of sick.

 

 **Douglas:** You're not even casting my poor aim up to me. Opportunity missed, Captain.

 

 **Martin:** I had rather assumed that you had hit your target dead-on ;)

 

 **Douglas:** Never.

 

 **Douglas:** I may have hidden a lemon on you, stolen many a nice hotel room from you, and made you pay over the odds for a rather ropey bouquet of orchids, but I'd never deliberately _vomit_ all over you. 

 

 **Martin:** Well... thank you. I suppose.

 

 **Douglas:** Apart from anything else, it hardly fits with the aura of debonair suavity I naturally exude.

 

 **Martin:** That ship sailed long before you threw up on my knees, imbecile.

 

 **Martin:** Right around the time you misplaced my van keys inside a piano. If not before.

 

 **Douglas:** Now, now. I took you out for dinner to pay for that minor error.

 

 **Martin:** Grudgingly conceded.

 

 **Martin:** OK if I stop in tomorrow afternoon (well, later today, I suppose, looking at the time)? The Knapp-Shappey-Shipwrights will have flown away by then, after all. Need some more company? Even if it's only dull old me?

 

 **Douglas:** You're not dull.

 

 **Douglas:** Surely you have better things to do, though. Given the date.

 

 **Martin:** If that's a joke, I'm not amused.

 

 **Douglas:** No! No. I wouldn't joke. About that.

 

 **Douglas:** Much.

 

 **Martin:** Hmm. Then no, I don't have other plans. It's just another day in the calendar, ticking by.

 

 **Douglas:** In that case, I'd be very grateful if you'd come for a little while. The bay has a new occupant, and he's a nightmare. Never stops whinging. If I'm going to listen to anyone complaining, I'd much rather it were you. 

 

 **Douglas:** You haven't finished telling me about Hungary, yet. I'm sure you must have some Arthur-related niggles to grumble over - before we both tacitly admit we wouldn't be without him, of course.

 

 **Martin:** Of course.

 

 **Martin:** I'll be in around 3, then, after my van job.

 

 **Martin:** Now, shouldn't you try and sleep?

 

 **Douglas:** Yessir.

 

 **Martin:** Oh, do shut up.

 

 **Martin:** Subordinate.

 

 **Martin:** Sleep well.

 

 **Douglas:** Night.


	30. 20:20, 14/02/16

Douglas,

 

Excuse the scrappy paper - the ward sister tore it out of a notebook to give to me, and she wasn't bothered about doing it neatly. I thought I'd best slip away as you drifted off to sleep - you looked so tired this afternoon. I'm not surprised, if that cough was keeping you awake all last night. It was good to see you finally managing to rest: I hope you don't wake up until the 10pm obs at least.

 

I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with you - despite Mr Grumpy down the end of the bay. I think me telling you stories blocked him out a bit. Sorry if I bored you to tears - then again you did say you'd rather me complaining than him. Be careful what you wish for, perhaps?

 

I'll be back in tomorrow to make sure you're not giving the nurses too much trouble. See you at 1pm. If you want me to bring you anything, just text me.

 

Best,

 

Martin

 

P.S. I nicked a piece of your chocolate. I'm not even sorry. You'd better get your appetite back pronto before I steal any more.


	31. 16:23, 15/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: carolyn@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 16:23

Hi Carolyn

 

Was in two minds whether to send this, given that you're on holiday and hopefully enjoying yourself, but I think you ought to know. I've just come away from the hospital; while I was there this afternoon, Douglas took a turn for the worse. He's been coughing for a couple of days, and today he was wheezing dreadfully. An hour ago I had to run for the nurse because he was struggling so much he could barely breathe - his lips were blue. They came quickly and put him on oxygen straight away, which helped a bit, but he's been moved to a high dependency unit. I can't believe it - just as they were talking about removing the liver drain, this happens. The doctor saw him briefly before they sent me away; they think his right lung has collapsed because of the fluid caused by the irritation of the infection around his liver.

 

I've had to tell Emily's mum not to bring her; you should definitely finish your holiday, don't dash back or anything. They're taking care of him and I'll go back to visit this evening - they're trying to put a chest drain in him now to relieve the build-up of fluid, which should help matters. I'll let you know how he gets on or if there's any change.

 

I hope you're all having a pleasant time. And that this news doesn't ruin it.

 

Best,

 

Martin


	32. 00:13, 16/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Hi Douglas, I don't know if you're allowed your phone on so I don't know if you'll even get this... but I couldn't not text you.

 

 **Martin:** I wanted to apologise.

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Whatever for?

 

 **Martin:** You're awake!

 

 **Douglas:** Yes. It's rather hard to nod off when you have a chest drain tube digging into your shoulderblade.

 

 **Martin:** Sounds horrid. Is it helping, at least?

 

 **Douglas:** They've drained off a litre of fluid so far. I think it's working - I'm not as gasp-y as when you left.

 

 **Martin:** I'm so glad to hear it. When the staff wouldn't let me in to see you earlier this evening, I was really worried.

 

 **Martin:**... It was  _them_ not letting me in, I assume? Rather than you?

 

 **Douglas:** What? Why would you think I'd stop you visiting?

 

 **Martin:** Well... because of what I did when you couldn't breathe.

 

 **Martin:** I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done it. It was stupid and unfair and please forget it ever happened.

 

 **Douglas:** I can't.

 

 **Martin:** Douglas,  _please_. I'm so sorry. I was just terribly scared and got caught up in the moment and it'll never happen again, I swear.

 

 **Douglas:** It won't?

 

 **Martin:** No. I'll keep away, if you like, or I'll never mention it again.

 

 **Douglas:** Lots of things have happened over the last fortnight, almost none of them very pleasant. But you saying that - that's the first time I've actually been afraid.

 

 **Douglas:** There's nothing to regret, Martin. Nothing to apologise for.

 

 **Martin:** There isn't?

 

 **Douglas:** No.

 

 **Martin:** You didn't mind?

 

 **Douglas:** You kissing me? No.

 

 **Douglas:** My only regret was that I was fighting to breathe too much to tell you to do it properly, for God's sake.

 

 **Douglas:** Martin?

 

 **Martin:** Sorry - still here. Just... reeling a bit.

 

 **Douglas:** I understand if you think it was a mistake. I don't ever have to mention it again, either.

 

 **Douglas:** But... I wouldn't be averse to a repeat. If you wanted to. Ideally before the Lanzarote contingent makes a return.

 

 **Martin:** I'll... see what I can do. When I come and see you later.

 

 **Douglas:** In that case, I'm the happiest I've been for about a year.

 

 **Martin:** You're in hospital.

 

 **Douglas:** Really? I hadn't noticed.

 

 **Douglas:** Nonetheless.

 

 **Douglas:** I'll see you later.

 

 **Martin:** I hope you get some sleep.

 

 **Douglas:** Likewise.

 

 **Douglas:** x

 

 **Martin:** x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hollyashes kindly provided some beautiful art to go with this chapter, which you can find on her brilliant blog, here: http://hollyashes.tumblr.com/post/139395807378/so-usually-i-try-to-do-requests-in-the-order-they


	33. 18:49, 16/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**CEO**

If I don't hear some news out of either of you two drivers soon, I shall fly home and punch you each squarely on the nose.

 

**Bear Expert**

We're really worried. Is Douglas alright?

 

**Supreme Commander**

Sorry! Sorry, sorry. It's been a bit of a busy 24 hours. I'm with Douglas now.

 

**CEO**

And?

 

**Supreme Commander**

He's mostly been sleeping. They took the chest drain out this lunchtime because they thought they'd drained all the fluid they could. They got more than 1.5 litres out of his chest - no wonder he couldn't breathe.

He's less wheezy, but still on constant oxygen, as his lung hasn't gone back to normal yet.

Oh, and they're planning to move him to a private room - his white blood cell counts have gone through the floor, so he's at risk of infection.

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh... Poor old Douglas.

 

**Supreme Commander**

They're looking after him as well as they can, Arthur.

 

**Bear Expert**

Will you tell him I send a hug?

 

**Supreme Commander**

Of course.

Though I don't think Douglas is much of a one for hugs.

 

**CEO**

We'll be back late evening tomorrow. Tell Douglas we'll pop by on Friday - I'm sure you've had enough of the hospital, you take the day off visiting.

 

**Supreme Commander**

No, it's fine. I don't mind it.

 

**CEO**

I'm sure if he's just sleeping today you could go away, he won't hold it against you.

 

**Supreme Commander**

I'm quite happy, don't worry. 

Besides, sitting here means I can keep stealing his chocolate.


	34. 21:46, 16/02/16

Sorry I have to leave, Douglas, and sorry for more ragged paper. I offered to use scissors to cut the sheet out but the care assistant whose notebook it was just looked at me as if I'd grown another head. I hope you like the paper plane I made out of it, though.

 

You'll probably think I'm mad too...

 

I'm so glad you've finally got some rest today, you looked... almost peaceful. After watching you fight so hard to breathe yesterday, it was the good kind of contrast. I don't know if you really knew I was here; I hope you know you weren't alone. You reached for my hand so I think you were aware of me, somewhere in your sleep. Anyway - I was here, and I'll be back. Perhaps you'll be in a private room by tomorrow - they've promised you one.

 

And I kept my promise, too, even if you didn't notice it. Wake up, when you're ready, ~~so you can kiss me back~~

 

Oh, gosh, perhaps that was too forward. And now I can't find the nurse for more paper. You'll just have to have this sheet, and feel free to laugh at me. I keep feeling like last night's messages were some sort of mad dream. You have been hallucinating, after all. Perhaps I've got everything wrong.

 

Carolyn and Arthur are asking after you. If you're well enough to look at your phone, you'll see.

 

I'll be back tomorrow. You take care, Douglas.

 

M (x)


	35. 22:33, 16/02/16

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : You haven't got anything wrong. Except for your poor decision in apparently growing fond of an ex-alcoholic with a dodgy liver who's thrice divorced - but who somehow finds himself maddeningly fascinated with you.

 

 **Douglas:** And who knew you were holding his hand. x


	36. 14:14, 18/02/16

_Writing everything down feels ridiculous._

 

**Come on, Douglas - if you can't breathe in long enough to finish a sentence, then you shouldn't be talking at all.**

 

_I can still talk._

 

**Not for more than four words at a time.**

 

_I can't believe you brought your own paper._

 

**I was sick of writing on scraps. And I didn't know if you'd be awake today. A good pilot is always prepared, after all.**

 

_I don't see why you're writing too. You can talk perfectly well._

 

**It seems fairer, this way.**

 

**Besides, HDU is so very quiet. I feel like all the nurses are eavesdropping when I talk to you.**

 

_They said they should have a room for me later._

 

**Oh, good.**

 

_Then you can be as loud as you like._

 

**It's still a hospital.**

 

_I'm so sick of it. That chap over there says he's been in for three months. Can you imagine?_

 

**Poor man. But you'll escape soon, you know you will.**

 

_I hope so. There are so many things I would rather be doing._

 

**Oh? Such as?**

 

_Hmm. Do you want the safe answer, or the one that'll make your ears go red?_

 

**Douglas!**

 

_You're not supposed to punch the sick, Martin. Don't get thrown out._

 

**You deserved it.**

 

**Did I hurt you?**

 

_Of course not, idiot._

 

_Now, as to what I'd rather be doing..._

 

_I'd rather be having this conversation with you in a nice coffee shop somewhere. Maybe like that one we found in Warsaw, last month, where you had that sugary doughnut._

 

**Oh God, I was finding sugar for days. It went everywhere.**

 

_It did. Including all over your top lip._

 

**Well, it wasn't my fault! They'd designed it very poorly. And you didn't need to keep staring at m**

 

**Oh.**

 

_Quite._

 

_If you knew how much I'd wanted just to lean in and_

 

_Well, do that._

 

**I wouldn't have minded.**

 

_Yes, you would. You'd have told me to be professional, for goodness' sake._

 

**I wouldn't have done! I might have been taken aback... but I'd have responded, never you fear.**

 

_How?_

 

**How?**

 

_It's a simple question._

 

**Well... I think I'd have tangled my hand in your hair. Maybe I'd have**

 

_Yes?_

 

**I'm thinking! Be patient. Maybe I'd have stroked your knee.**

 

_Both excellent ideas, I thoroughly approve._

 

**I'd have tugged you to your feet, and taken you outside.**

 

_What, in the pouring rain?_

 

**We wouldn't have noticed the rain.**

 

_Martin, you soppy romantic, you._

 

**Takes one to know one.**

 

_Guilty as charged. So, where would you have taken me?_

 

**Um.**

 

_You've got me intrigued, now. Where?_

 

**Would you think badly of me if I said 'back to the hotel'?**

 

_Hmm. I could have been persuaded to support that navigational decision, Captain._

 

**Really?**

 

_Of course, you clot. If you hadn't suggested it, I would've done._

 

**Kiss me properly.**

 

_Why can't I kiss you improperly instead?_

 

**Behave, Douglas. Don't make the nurses throw me out for manhandling you.**

 

_I'll tell them I don't mind. Being manhandled._

 

**Oh, shut up.**

 

**You're falling asleep on me.**

 

_I'm not. Just resting my eyes._

 

**Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.**

 


	37. 20:32, 17/02/16

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : Hi, Em. I'm so sorry you can't visit me this week. I was rather poorly, but I really am starting to feel better now. I've asked your mum if you can come at the weekend, instead - I'd love to see you.

 

**Douglas:** Please try to keep smiling. I loved your card - thank you so much. And here's a picture of my latest toy - I have to breathe in using this funny machine that looks like an elephant and try and beat my previous score! Five times an hour. It's keeping me busy...

 

 

**Douglas:** I can't wait to see you, sweetheart. Keep grinning for Dad - I'll be fine again soon, just you wait and see. xxx


	38. 22:10, 18/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : So... was today odd for you too? In front of the Knapp-Shappey-Shipwrights?

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : I will never get used to Herc at my bedside as long as I live.

 

 **Douglas:** And the souvenirs Arthur brought us were beyond odd. I can't say I've ever wanted to own a wicker colander, and yet now I apparently do.

 

 **Martin:** Are you wilfully misunderstanding me?

 

 **Douglas:** I'm not very used to this, Martin.

 

 **Douglas:** What do you want?

 

 **Martin:** Not used to this? Oh he of a thousand stewardesses?

 

 **Douglas:** There may not have been that many.

 

 **Douglas:** Maybe just 999.

 

 **Martin:** Douglas, if this is all a joke to you, at least have the grace to tell me before I make a complete fool of myself.

 

 **Douglas:** No, it's not a joke.

 

 **Martin:** Are you sure? 

 

 **Martin:** Because if you being so unwell has taught me anything, it's how I really

 

 **Martin:** Sorry, didn't mean to hit send just then.

 

 **Douglas:** How you really what?

 

 **Martin:** It's nothing. It doesn't matter.

 

 **Douglas:** No. Tell me.

 

 **Martin:** FINE. How I really feel. Happy now?

 

 **Douglas:** How? How can  _this_ \- me being sick - have made you like me? For God's sake, Martin. I'm more than two decades older than you, and I'm clearly falling apart. I'm hardly a catch.

 

 **Douglas:** Though I think it's only the morphine making me willing to say that.

 

 **Martin:** I thought I was going to lose you. 

 

 **Martin:** I couldn't bear it. 

 

 **Martin:** And if we get to keep you, the rest is immaterial. _I_ get to keep you.

 

 **Martin:** I hope.

 

 **Douglas:** Yes. You do.

 

 **Douglas:** If you want me, for some reason, then - you can have me.

 

 **Martin:** I'll try and come earlier tomorrow. Before the masses descend and we have to be discreet again.

 

 **Douglas:** I'm looking forward to it.


	39. 11:09, 20/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 11:09

Hello Douglas,

 

Hope you're feeling a bit less grumpy today - I'm sorry you're still stuck in hospital, and I'm sorry if we annoyed you yesterday. All of us visiting at once might have been a bit much, maybe? You can say if you don't want to see us, you know... we won't mind. 

 

Though I think you were pleased to see me, when I walked in in the morning, if your smile was anything to go by. You're starting to look a bit better, even if you're still in pain; I think your breathing seemed a little improved... you managed to insult Herc very effectively on several occasions, at least, which I always think is a good sign.

 

I'm so sorry I have to go away - at least I can leave Emily and her mum to look after you while they're visiting. Just a quick hop down to La Rochelle, and I'll pick up the cognac for the client and be back as soon as I'm able. Just one night, and I'll try and bring you back some of the fleur de sel you were talking about if I can. 

 

Keep resting, keep looking after you - see you soon.

 

M x

 

(It still feels so strange signing emails to you like that. Strange - but oh, Douglas, so good. x)


	40. 12:35, 20/02/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to: captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 12:35

Hi,

 

Emily's due any minute, so I'll make this quick - but fly well, and I'm sorry for my bad mood yesterday. It wasn't you. Or Carolyn, or Arthur, or even Herc (never tell him). I'm so tired of being cooped up in here. I'm not always dealing with it very well, I'm afraid. But you being here - that helps. Not that I mind that you're flying away tonight - I just wish I were with you, in some ways. And not just because I have only just discovered how delightful it is to hold your hand.

 

But Emily's on her way, and the doctors seem pleased with my progress, and maybe soon - soon - I'll be back in the sky with you.

 

D x

 

(I like signing things that way, too. The only strange thing is how not-strange it feels to do so. Who'd have guessed that dating you could feel so right?)


	41. 13:38, 20/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : We're dating?

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : If you'll excuse the fact I haven't actually gone out with you yet.

 

 **Martin:** I... am prepared to make that concession.

 

 **Douglas:** Good. Then we're dating.

 

 **Martin:** Agreed.

 

 **Martin:** See you tomorrow - have a good time with Emily :)

 

 **Douglas:** Thank you x 

 


	42. 09:19, 21/02/16

**Whatsapp - Group Info: MJN Air**

**CEO**

How was it seeing Emily, Douglas?

 

**Sky God**

Good, thank you. She and Anna stayed for two hours in the afternoon, and then the ward staff let Anna push me with her to the cafe in the evening.

 

**Bear Expert**

You got off the ward? That's great!

 

**Sky God**

It was nice to see the world still exists beyond this bay.

 

**Supreme Commander**

You've never let anyone take you to the cafe before now.

 

**Sky God**

Em was getting bored cooped up in the ward, I could tell. I decided her entertainment was worth the indignity of perambulating about in my PJ's.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Oh. Well, perhaps we could take you, when we're back?

 

**Sky God**

Perhaps.

 

**Bear Expert**

Are you still getting the magic drugs?

 

**Sky God**

Do you mean the antibiotics, or the painkillers?

Never mind, the answer's yes to both. At least another week of IV antibiotics to go before they're likely to pronounce themselves satisfied :(

 

**CEO**

Don't you pull sad faces, minion. It's me that's a pilot down but with sick pay still to cough up to you. You concentrate on getting better as soon as you can.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Try and grin and bear it, Douglas. We'll be back soon - I'll come and see you.

 

**Bear Expert**

Ooh, can I come with you, Skip?

 

**Supreme Commander**

If you must.

 

**Bear Expert**

BRILLIANT. I'll see if I can find a French game to bring Douglas, shall I?

 

**Sky God**

It's Sunday, Arthur. All the shops will be shut.

Thank goodness.

What time are you due back?

 

**CEO**

As soon as Martin's had his croissant. Then we can go. Cargo loaded, everything ready.

 

**Supreme Commander**

I'm hurrying, honestly.

 

**Bear Expert**

We'll see you this afternoon, Douglas!

 

**Sky God**

See you later.


	43. 11:00, 21/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 11:00

Hi,

 

I'm afraid I've got some bad news, Douglas. We've just had a failure of the fuel tank boost pump and we've had to return to our stand at La Rochelle. The engineers are taking a look at it now, but judging by Carolyn's storm-force 11 expression in the distance and the gesticulations of the mechanic crew, I'd say we'll be here for a while... I'm so sorry. I'll let you know when I have any more news.

 

I hope you're not too bored. I can't wait to see you (hopefully without Arthur in tow, meaning no slight to the airdot's cheeriest steward).

 

Got to go - engineers want to talk to me. x


	44. 17:31, 22/02/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to: captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 17.31

Martin,

 

Come back.

 

I'm so bored. Nothing happens here except asking for more drugs every three hours or so, and all I have to stare at is the curtain opposite. The window's too far away and the corridor's too close and I can't even concentrate to read my book because it hurts too much to think. 

 

I know you said on the phone that the engineers thought the part might arrive by Wednesday, but can't you... I don't know, whittle something? Surely the replacement can't be  _that_ hard to fashion...?

 

The world's biggest attention-seeker has moved into the bed next to mine. I might kill him if he keeps wittering on about the number of scans and tests and lumbar punctures and operations he's had. That's it - you have to come back, or you'll end up visiting me in jail, I swear.

 

Come back.


	45. 20:46, 22/02/16

Martin Crieff <captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 20:46

Oh, Douglas.

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling so rotten. I wish there was something more I could do. It's been the world's most frustrating day for me here as well - I daren't leave GERTI in case the wretched part arrives unscheduled (they said there was a slim chance it would, but no luck) and I didn't bring anything to do, so I've just been playing draughts with Arthur (who isn't the world's most challenging opponent, for all his many skills) and thinking of you. I wish I were with you and not stuck here. You'd have probably solved the problem by now, somehow, in that magical way you have of sorting things out, like in Russia.

 

Did I tell you that that was when I first realised? That I was in trouble, with regards to how I felt about you? In St Petersburg, when you produced the solution to everything with the nonchalant air of a conjuror producing a rabbit from a piece of millinery. Gordon turned tail and ran, and you were smirking, and suddenly you caught my eye and - oh, it was ridiculous. My brain froze and my heart felt as if it had leapt into my throat. That was when you weren't just Douglas, anymore. You became  _Douglas_.

 

I still haven't got over the sensation that if I pinch myself, I'll wake up.

 

Hang in there, my Douglas. I'll be back as soon as ever I can.

 

x


	46. 07:52, 23/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Morning, most patient patient. How are you doing?

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : You're revoltingly chirpy for this ungodly hour.

 

 **Douglas:** But yes. About the same. Thanks for asking.

 

 **Martin:** Bad night?

 

 **Douglas:** How did you guess?

 

 **Martin:** I could tell.

 

 **Martin:** I'm afraid I don't have good news. Carolyn rang the mechanics as soon as she knew they'd answer (and before, in fact). They've said they've only just had confirmation that the part's arrived in Toulouse from wherever they make it - China probably - so there's absolutely no chance it'll come today. So now I have a day to kill in La Rochelle.

 

 **Douglas:** Oh.

 

 **Martin:** I'm so sorry.

 

 **Martin:** But I did have an idea, which I hope you'll think is a good one...

 

 **Douglas:** I'm listening.

 

 **Martin:** Well, I know you can't really concentrate on reading. But how about using your imagination?

 

 **Douglas:** Colour me intrigued. What are you suggesting?

 

 **Martin:** Well, I know you know this region far better than me, based on your enthusiasm for cognac and the local sea-salt, anyway. Our hotel owner's taken pity on me and she's lent me her daughter's car for the day (said daughter is away at university). Carolyn is going to go to the airfield, just in the forlorn hope that they invent matter transportation to teleport the part over today in spite of what she's been told, and Arthur has been making very good friends with the duty-free shop staff owing to his Toblerone-based enthusiasm, so he's said he'll go with her... so the day is truly my own, and...

 

 **Martin:** Why don't you show me around? Tell me what I should do, and I'll send you back some pictures. It'll almost be like we're exploring together - not as good, without your voice in my ear, but... it'll keep us both pleasantly distracted, perhaps?

 

 **Douglas:** Huh. That is a good idea.

 

 **Martin:** I do get them sometimes, you know.

 

 **Douglas:** I know, I know :)

 

 **Douglas:** Have you had breakfast?

 

 **Martin:** Not yet.

 

 **Douglas:** In that case... I seem to recall a rather stunning boulangerie on the Quai Duperre, with a gorgeous view of the old harbour and the towers. Go there, and have a pain au raisin, maybe with some chocolat chaud. Watch the little boats puttering back and forth, and all the people going to work.

 

 **Martin:** Sounds good. I'm off, as commanded.


	47. 09:26, 23/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Excellent recommendation, Douglas. Delicious pastry, and hot chocolate so rich it feels like it's flowing straight through my veins.

 

 **Martin:** And it's a beautiful day. Look at my view - it's chilly, but so sunny:

 

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Aha, if it's that sunny, that helps my next idea. If you're full of breakfast, now, I want you to drive a little down the coast.

 

 **Douglas:** There's a village called Esnandes. Park in the village square, and then walk along the cliffs, if you like. The views are rather stunning.

 

 **Martin:** I'm on my way.


	48. 12:16, 23/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Oh, it was a lovely walk... Look:

 

 

 **Martin:** That's the bridge to the Ile de Re.

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905):** I recognise it. It's an amazing island, I almost sent you there. But that's one place I plan to introduce you to myself, one day.

 

 **Martin:** Oh, you do, do you?

 

 **Martin:** In that case I look forward to it.

 

 **Martin:** In the meantime, here are some interested spectators to my ramblings:

 

 

 **Martin:** And here's Esnandes' church, where I parked the car.

 

 

 **Douglas** : Oh, good, you're in the centre? Perfect. In that case, proceed to rue des Chypres, number 82, and ring the doorbell.

 

 **Martin:** What's at number 82?

 

 **Douglas:** Wait and see. Lunch awaits you.

 

 **Martin:** My turn to be the intrigued one.

 

 **Douglas:** You don't have a monopoly on good ideas, Captain ;)


	49. 14:33, 23/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Douglas! Douglas!

 

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : You enjoyed your lunch, then?

 

**Martin:** Douglas, you know  _everyone._

 

**Douglas:** Only handily situated former Air France pilots with happily no plans for today and a weakness for schemes - such as entertaining my new partner who's left so churlishly alone in the Charente-Maritime.

 

**Martin:** Fabien was so kind (though thank goodness he spoke such good English - you remember my French).

 

**Douglas:** Vividly.

 

**Martin:** Was the eclade of mussels your idea?

 

**Douglas:** It was his, actually. He's been promising me one for years, the old devil, and now he does one for you when I can't even enjoy it.

 

**Martin:** In that case I'm so glad I took pictures. You obviously know it's how they historically cooked mussels here, yes?

 

**Douglas:** Yes, but you might have to remind me how it's done - when he explained it to me originally, years ago, I may have had a drink or two.

 

**Martin:** Of course.

 

**Martin:** So, first he arranged all the mussels on a wet slab of tree trunk, like so:

 

 

 

**Martin:** And then once he'd got them all to stand up, 'mouths' downwards, he covered them with pine needles from his garden:

 

 

**Douglas:** I think I see where this is going...

 

**Martin:** And last of all he set light to the needles, like so:

 

 

 

**Martin:** So then the steam from the wood cooked them and by the time the pine needles burnt away they were perfect - so tasty.

 

**Martin:** I wish you could have tasted them.

 

**Douglas:** Me too.

 

**Martin:** Oh, Douglas. I'm so sorry. Is this just making you sad?

 

**Douglas:** What? No!

 

**Douglas:** This is the best day you've ever given me, even if I can't be with you.

 

**Martin:** You're still sharing it with me. 

 

**Martin:** I got funny looks on the cliffs, earlier - mainly from the cows, but still... I was walking along and talking to you, telling you how lovely it was. How much I wanted to be holding your hand.

 

**Martin:** And at Fabien's, he was so sorry to hear how unwell you are, and he's sent you some cognac - I didn't tell him you couldn't drink it, but I think you can cook with it too?

 

**Douglas:** You can indeed.

 

**Douglas:** I wanted to be holding your hand too. Kissing you on the cliffs, in the sunshine.

 

**Douglas:** I miss you. I never realised I could miss you like this.

 

**Martin:** I'll be home soon, I promise, love. In the meantime... where to next? You're still supposed to be guiding me, after all.

 

**Douglas:** Drive south. Go to Cognac. There's a cognac house there called Autard, and you're booked on their last tour of the day, at 16.30.

 

**Martin:** I'd better scoot.


	50. 17:42, 23/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : I've just had the most wonderful tour, Douglas. 

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

 

 **Martin:** They wouldn't let me take photographs in case I made the distillery go boom - like when we're refuelling - but I've just taken you one to show you where I am now.

 

 

 **Martin:** The sun's setting.

 

 **Douglas:** I can see that.

 

 **Martin:** Yes, but... it's beautiful. 

 

 **Martin:** Thank you for my day. I loved it.

 

 **Douglas:** I loved it too. It was a brilliant idea.

 

 **Douglas:** The nurse who just walked in said she hadn't seen me look so smiley for weeks.

 

 **Martin:** I'm so glad to hear it. 

 

 **Martin:** I'd better head back to the city: I don't want the hotelier to think I've absconded with her daughter's car.

 

 **Martin:** Promise me something.

 

 **Douglas:** What?

 

 **Martin:** That the next time I'm standing on a riverbank - ideally this riverbank - admiring a stunning sunset, that you'll be next to me. Admiring it too.

 

 **Douglas:** Now that, my darling, is a promise I am more than willing to make.

 

 **Martin:**...You called me darling.

 

 **Douglas:** Well, you called me love.

 

 **Martin:** When?

 

 **Douglas:** Earlier, you nitwit.

 

 **Martin:** Oh. So I did. Do you know... I didn't even think about it. 

 

 **Martin:** Just felt... right, I suppose.

 

 **Martin:** Must go... love. x

 

 **Douglas:** Drive safely.

 

 **Douglas:** Nitwit. ;)


	51. 10:43, 24/02/16

**Carolyn (07784 968128):** The dratted part's finally arrived. Martin's out supervising the engineers just now. Though goodness knows how effectual he'll be - I can just see lots of arm-flapping and mechanics cheerfully ignoring him at the moment.

 

 **Herc (07980 343245):** You'll be back today, then? 

 

 **Carolyn:** I hope so. If Captain Windmill out there satisfies himself that GERTI's airworthy.

 

 **Herc:** I'll make you dinner, tonight, if you like? I've just landed from Zurich. Looking forward to a couple of days off.

 

 **Carolyn:** I'll bring some cooked chicken to add to whatever mush of legumes you're producing this evening.

 

 **Herc:** Oh, come off it, darling. You know you enjoyed the lasagne I made last week.

 

 **Carolyn:** Could have done with more... beef.

 

 **Herc:** I give in. How are Martin and Arthur holding up?

 

 **Carolyn:** Surely you don't need to ask about Arthur. He is, was, and always shall be the same - cheery. Perfectly happy to make friends around the airport and amass as many different types of Toblerone as exist in the tiny shop.

 

 **Carolyn:** Martin, on the other hand...

 

 **Herc:** Something wrong?

 

 **Carolyn:** Just the opposite. Since Douglas was admitted to hospital, he's had a face like a wet weekend. But for the last week or so... he's been almost... elated. And trying to hide it - very badly.

 

 **Carolyn:** It's peculiar.

 

 **Herc:** Aren't you pleased he's cheered up?

 

 **Carolyn:** Not if I don't know  _why_. I disapprove of either of my pilots having personal lives, you know that. And he spent all of yesterday on his own, yet came in to the hotel looking positively - almost nauseatingly - glowy.

 

 **Carolyn:** I don't trust it.

 

 **Herc:** I hesitate to suggest this - light of my life - but perhaps he just enjoyed spending some time away from his boss?

 

 **Carolyn:** Impertinence. Watch it, or I'll cook you fish again.

 

 **Herc:** Fine, fine. You can't see, but I'm holding my hands up. I admit defeat.

 

 **Carolyn:** Glad to hear it. I'll see you at 8.

 

 **Herc:** I'd prefer an early dinner - I thought around 7?

 

 **Carolyn:** Eight pm, Herc. Not a minute sooner.

 

 **Carolyn:** See you then.


	52. 13:07, 24/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** :  ****We're just taking off, Douglas. I'll be in this evening - or sooner, if I can make it there without tipping the Knapp-Shappeys off that I'm departing in your direction x


	53. 21:36, 26/02/16

**Douglas (07700 812905)** : Did you get home safely?

 

 **Martin (07700 900390)** : I haven't forgotten how to  _drive,_ Douglas.

 

 **Martin:** Why are you even asking?

 

 **Douglas:** You were pretty het up when you stormed off. I thought I'd better check you were alright.

 

 **Martin:** Of course I'm not!

 

 **Martin:** I can't believe you'd be so idiotic.

 

 **Douglas:** Much though you might wish it otherwise, Martin, you're not my captain anywhere except the flight deck.

 

 **Martin:** I'm not trying to be your captain! I'm trying to be your partner! Or failing that, your friend, at least.

 

 **Douglas:** I want you to be both. Hell, all three. Just not at the same time.

 

 **Martin:** That can't be true, or else you'd listen to me when I speak to you.

 

 **Douglas:** I was  _listening_. It didn't mean I was agreeing.

 

 **Douglas:** I'm going mad in here. And I'm so much better. I want to go home.

 

 **Martin:** You came off HDU three days ago, Douglas. Three.

 

 **Douglas:** I can still count. I'm not totally senile.

 

 **Martin:** You're still hooked up to IV antibiotics, for crying out loud.

 

 **Douglas:** They said they could take those down if I wanted.

 

 **Douglas:** You don't know what it's like. Stuck here.

 

 **Martin:** No, Douglas. YOU don't know what it's like. To fly off and have to leave you behind, only to discover that you're half-dead before you admit to needing help.

 

 **Martin:** If it hadn't been for Arthur... Douglas, you could have died by the time Carolyn and I got back.

 

 **Martin:** You don't take care of yourself.

 

 **Douglas:** I'm not half-dead now.

 

 **Martin:** How can I trust you to assess your current state of health like a sane person? Come to that, why don't you trust the medics? They don't want you to go yet. You still need care.

 

 **Douglas:** I just want to get out of here.

 

 **Douglas:**...I'm sorry for scaring you.

 

 **Martin:** Can't you see how much it kills me to keep leaving you there? All I want is for you to come home, too. But not at the expense of your recovery.

 

 **Martin:** What makes me more furious is that you only told me about your idiotic scheme because the nurse let it slip that you were thinking of discharging yourself. What were you going to do? Just get a taxi home and home for the best?

 

 **Douglas:** I don't know. I just... I've had enough. I'm so miserable.

 

 **Martin:** Oh, Douglas. I know. I'm sorry. But be patient a little while longer, please, please.

 

 **Douglas:**... Oh, fine. But if Arthur tries to show me one more photo of his adventures inside La Rochelle airport, I shall not be responsible for my actions.

 

 **Martin:** I think you're safe. They're all planning to walk Snoopadoop tomorrow afternoon, so I made a show of sighing and saying I'd just have to visit you on their behalf.

 

 **Douglas:** I thought they'd never go, yesterday and today. Normally I'd love to see them, but right now...

 

 **Martin:** I just want you.

 

 **Douglas:** You're the only one I want.

 

 **Douglas:** Jinx.

 

 **Martin:** Promise me you'll stay there until the doctors tell you to.

 

 **Douglas:** Martin...

 

 **Martin:** Don't 'Martin' me. Promise.

 

 **Douglas:** FINE. But you owe me.

 

 **Martin:** I'll see how I can make it up to you when we're alone, tomorrow.


	54. 14:59, 28/02/16

Arthur Shappey <arthur@mjnair.co.uk>

to: douglas@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 14:59

Hi Douglas!

 

It was brilliant to see you this morning! You seem so so much better! And even the nebu-thingy that you had to breathe through for a bit was very interesting - it made you look like a dragon, all that smoke! I know I said so at the time, but when I was driving home I was thinking that perhaps you could imagine you were a dragon while you inhaled it, because perhaps that would make it more fun. You looked a bit bored.

 

I can try and bring you some more photos, if you like? I took quite a lot at the horses in Barcelona - you haven't seen those yet. Skip said that he thought you weren't well enough to enjoy them, but I think you look such a lot improved, perhaps you're well enough now? I'll bring them in tomorrow anyway.

 

And speaking of Skip... Douglas, I know that I shouldn't know... but I'm really sorry, Skip didn't quite jump backwards fast enough this morning when I walked in and you weren't expecting me... I didn't know whether to say anything, but I think you guessed I saw. I don't know if you'd rather it was a secret. If so, I'll try and not think about it if Mum asks, so I don't go so red and trip up, but... I just wanted you to know - I think it's BRILLIANT. That Skip loves you, I mean. Enough to kiss you like that.

 

I won't say anything to him, either, if you'd rather I didn't. He went so pink and he obviously didn't want to talk about it. I'd hate to make him uncomfortable.

 

I hope that's OK! Enjoy the rest of your day! I mean... if you can, in the ward!

 

Arthur


	55. 20:34, 28/02/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to: arthur@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 20:34

Arthur,

 

It's OK, I'm still rather tired - I'm not sure I can properly appreciate your photos, old thing. Why not save them for another time, eh? They're talking about letting me out at last by the end of this coming week - sometime after then would be better. Maybe.

 

And regarding what you saw... I'd be grateful if you could... avoid mentioning it. To your Mum, and Herc, and especially to Martin. Early days, and all that. But I'm very glad you think it's brilliant.

 

I do, too.

 

D


	56. 22:27, 29/02/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Just got back. Hope you're feeling a bit less sick now.

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Yes, the cyclizine helped. Hope you're not too sleepy - you have such an early start, and Arthur to contend with when you get to the airfield.

 

 **Douglas:** Seeing as 5am is usually his bounciest time... you should try and be as well-rested as you can, no?

 

 **Martin:** I'm heading to bed now, don't you worry. Though it's really... nice that you're worried.

 

 **Martin:** I'm not used to it. Someone worrying about me, I mean.

 

 **Douglas:** I've been worried about you for years, captain.

 

 **Martin:** Oh, shush :p You go to sleep too, and I'll see you in a couple of days. I'll miss you.

 

 **Douglas:** You too, darling. x

 

 **Martin:** x


	57. 08:07, 01/03/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Good morning, my Douglas :)

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Hello! Land OK?

 

 **Martin:** Just shut down. Client's headed off to whatever meeting it is he's attending, and Arthur and I are at liberty. Or will be, when he's finished the vacuuming.

 

 **Martin:** How was your night?

 

 **Douglas:** Interrupted - they had three new admissions in the night. Three. I feel like I haven't slept at all.

 

 **Douglas:** But the doctors are due round... with any luck I can pester them into letting me out in the next couple of days.

 

 **Martin:** Only if you're sure you're ready, remember.

 

 **Douglas:** I'll be sensible, promise.

 

 **Martin:** Hmm, I suppose there's a first time for everything.

 

 **Martin:** Also... Douglas?

 

 **Douglas:** Yes?

 

 **Martin:** Arthur's being... odd.

 

 **Douglas:** More so than usual, you mean?

 

 **Martin:** Yes. All flight. He keeps coming in, opening his mouth, then slamming it shut and walking off again. Like he's itching to say something but then remembering not to.

 

 **Martin:** And given that my birthday is still four months away it can't be a repeat of last year's surprise-party debacle.

 

 **Douglas:** Who can say what passes through the brain of a young Arthur? I wouldn't fret over it.

 

 **Martin:** No, it's just... You don't think he saw us, do you? The other day, when I was... kissing you, and he arrived unexpectedly. Do you think he knows?

 

 **Douglas:** Would you mind if he did?

 

 **Martin:** I don't know.

 

 **Douglas:** Ashamed of me, are you?

 

 **Martin:** No! Of course not! Don't be an imbecile.

 

 **Martin:** I just... like having this a secret. For now. While it's still new. Ish.

 

 **Douglas:** Hmm, I do too.

 

 **Douglas:** Knowing Arthur, he'll soon slip up somehow, and then you'll have your answer.

 

 **Douglas:** It's breakfast time - I'll try and eat some like I promised you I would. Speak soon.

 

 **Martin:** Oh, good. Try your best. I know it's vile, but you need feeding up.

 

 **Martin:** I'd better go - Arthur's just finished hoovering, judging by the sound of him now using the nozzle as an impromptu microphone for karaoke. Speak soon. And bon appetit, love. x


	58. 00:01, 03/03/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Arthur knows, Douglas. And you didn't tell me.


	59. 09:53, 03/03/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to: captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 09:53

Martin,

 

I didn't tell you because... I didn't want to spoil anything. Arthur was excited, he only saw it as a good thing. But I didn't know how you'd react. I asked him not to tell Carolyn - I thought you didn't want anyone to know, and... alright, I was scared. I wondered if - if anyone found out - you would see sense. And realise what people who aren't Arthur will think of you. Of you dating me - I'm not good news, Martin, especially not if you want to get anywhere in this industry. I'll just hold you back, once people find out I'm your partner. I disgraced myself, and I'll taint you by association, and I'm so much older and I'm finished, really. It's so selfish, but... I've been scared that you'll realise all that, and gently bring this to an end, and these last couple of weeks have been like a dream where I'm happy.

 

So I didn't tell you Arthur knew, no. Not because I like keeping secrets from you - I have no others. But because I didn't want either of us to wake up.

 

I'm sorry.

 

x


	60. 22:44, 03/03/16

Douglas Richardson <douglas@mjnair.co.uk>

to: captaincrieff@mjnair.co.uk

 _Today_ at 22:44

Hi Martin,

 

I haven't heard from you today. I know you probably need some time, but... time spirals, here, with only the wall to stare at (and a visit from Carolyn to endure). But I can't sleep, and I... are you alright? Do I need to say anything? Tell me what, and I'll say it. I'm sorry.

 

I love you. I'm falling in love with you, and I can't bear this silence between

 

__\----------------_ MESSAGE NOT SENT; SAVED AS DRAFT----------------_


	61. 23:56, 03/03/16

**Martin (07700 900390)** : Are you awake, still?

 

 **Douglas (07700 812905)** : Yes! I'm glad to hear from you, I've been thinking of you.

 

 **Martin:** I've had the world's worst day.

 

 **Douglas:** Sorry to hear that.

 

 **Douglas:**...Not because of me, I hope.

 

 **Martin:** No! Of course not.

 

 **Martin:** Three van jobs, and I managed to leave my phone at the first one this morning. Was halfway to Sheffield for the second job before I realised.

 

 **Martin:** And then I couldn't call my last client to say I was going to be late, and they went out, but their neighbour assured me they'd be back, so I waited, and it took an hour for them to return... and it was far more stuff than I'd quoted them for so I had to charge them more... and they shouted at me. 

 

 **Martin:** And finally I managed to catch the first client at 11pm to get my phone back (they rolled in drunk from the pub, and found me on their doorstep).

 

 **Martin:** It's been a  _miserable_ day all round.

 

 **Douglas:** It sounds like it. I'm sorry.

 

 **Douglas:** So you didn't have your phone all day?

 

 **Martin:** No, it's been sitting in client one's kitchen. Idiot Crieff.

 

 **Douglas:** Oh, I understand now. Thank goodness.

 

 **Martin:** I'm sorry, I couldn't visit, and no texts to entertain you.

 

 **Douglas:** It's fine! I'm just relieved you're not furious.

 

 **Martin:** Furious? 

 

 **Martin:** No, Douglas. No. Your email... I just came up to my room and read it now. Oh, Douglas. You don't need to be scared.

 

 **Martin:** The very thought's ridiculous. Douglas Richardson? Scared? Of anything?

 

 **Douglas:** What I said - I meant it. If I were a better man, I'd give you up.

 

 **Douglas:** But I'm not. I'm a selfish. greedy one, and you are unexpectedly turning out to be -

 

 **Douglas:** Well. The cat's knees, as I believe I once put it. The bees' pyjamas.

 

 **Martin:** I told you how long I'd liked you, you idiot. I'm not about to give you up, let alone permit you to get rid of me.

 

 **Douglas:** Ah, but I never told you how long _I'd_ liked _you_.

 

 **Martin:** I didn't dare to ask.

 

 **Martin:** How long?

 

 **Douglas:** You don't really think that my guilt about losing your van keys on the way to Ottery St Mary was such that I felt I needed to buy you dinner, did you?

 

 **Martin:** What? Ottery? 

 

 **Martin:** But... but that was two YEARS ago.

 

 **Douglas:** Exactly.

 

 **Martin:** Douglas... why didn't you say anything?

 

 **Douglas:** Like I said. You'll realise I'm... not right.

 

 **Martin:** You colossal ninny. You could have said something anytime in the last 18 months, and I would have fallen over myself to date you.

 

 **Douglas:** Well, right back at you, chump.

 

 **Douglas:** I didn't hear you asking  _me_ out.

 

 **Martin:** Fair point. 

 

 **Martin:** I'm still not thrilled you hid the truth from me, about Arthur, you know.

 

 **Martin:** But a trip to Sheffield and back in a day is nothing if not time to think.

 

 **Martin:** And I understand why you did. Just... please don't do that again. I need to trust you. I want to trust you. 

 

 **Martin:** You're too good at hiding things, whether it's intending to discharge yourself, or who knows about us. That's what scares  _me._

 

 **Douglas:** Can you visit tomorrow? I know you're spending far more time than you should on this ward, but...

 

 **Douglas:** I want to make it up to you in person. I want to make you feel safe, with me.

 

 **Martin:** You'd do the same for me, as regards visiting. I'll be there.

 

 **Martin:** I can't wait to hug you.

 

 **Martin:** I can't wait for the day I can hug you without feeling that all the nurses are watching.

 

 **Douglas:** Soon. I'm getting better.

 

 **Martin:** I intend to collect on that 'soon'. Don't forget.

 

 **Martin:** Must sleep - I'm exhausted.

 

 **Douglas:** Me too. I can sleep now I know we're alright.

 

 **Martin:** We're more than alright. My Douglas.

 

 **Martin:** Mine. x

 

 **Douglas:** Sweet dreams. x


	62. 07:56, 09/03/16

**WhatsApp - Group Info: MJN Air**

 

**Sky God**

Well, much as it's been simply marvellous to have all of you clustered round my bedside on a regular basis for the past few days, I think I've had enough.

 

**Supreme Commander**

You don't want us to come today?

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh no! Was it the horse photos? I thought you'd enjoy those, yesterday...

 

**Sky God**

I won't deny, Arthur, that those were... multitudinous.

 

**Bear Expert**

Is that a good thing?

 

**CEO**

YES.

What are you saying, Douglas?

 

**Sky God**

I've just seen the doctors. They'll let me go home.

 

**Bear Expert**

BRILLIANT!

Brilliant brilliant brilliant brilliant

 

**Supreme Commander**

I'm so glad to hear it.

 

**CEO**

At last. 

Very good, that's settled. I'll come and pick you up.

 

**Sky God**

What? Why?

 

**CEO**

So you can come and stay with Arthur and me, of course, idiot.

 

**Sky God**

But I don't want to.

 

**CEO**

Nonsense. Better or not, you look as if a gust of wind - no, a light breeze - could knock you over.

 

**Sky God**

But

 

**Supreme Commander**

It's alright, Carolyn. I'll go and stay with Douglas for a few days. I can help him out.

 

**Sky God**

There. See? Martin will look after me.

 

**CEO**

That is the final straw.

The last in a long, long line of extremely fishy happenings.

What's got into the pair of you?

 

**Bear Expert**

You can't ask that question, Mum!

Why don't we talk about the weather instead? Look, it's sunny!

 

**CEO**

No it isn't.

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh. Then... it should be! Perhaps it'll rain later!

 

**Supreme Commander**

Arthur...

 

**CEO**

What's going on?

 

**Sky God**

Nothing.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Can't a captain help out his first officer?

 

**CEO**

Not usually, no.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Oh... fine. Douglas?

 

**Sky God**

If you must know, Martin and I... are now Martin and I.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Yes.

 

**CEO**

Good grief.

Douglas, you old goat. If this will lead to a messy breakup and an unbearably awful cockpit atmosphere, I'll fire both of you.

 

**Sky God**

No, you won't. And it won't.

I love him.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Douglas! You've never

I mean

You too. I love you too.

 

**Bear Expert**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

**CEO**

This is far too much information for not even 8am.

Fine.

Be unbearably mushy in private. But you leave it at the door at work, you understand?

 

**Sky God**

I know Martin wouldn't have it any other way.

 

**Supreme Commander**

I wouldn't.

When should I pick you up, Douglas?

 

**Sky God**

Anytime now?

 

**Supreme Commander**

I'll be there as fast as I can

 

**CEO**

As SAFELY as you can, I think you mean.

 

**Supreme Commander**

Of course.

I'm coming to get you, Douglas! x

 

**Bear Expert**

I'll come round later with some more jigsaws!

 

**Sky God**

I think I'm set on the jigsaw front, old chap...

Maybe drop in tomorrow?

 

**CEO**

Let Douglas spend the day with Martin, dear heart.

 

**Bear Expert**

Oh! Of course.

We're so happy for you! Aren't we, Mum?

 

**CEO**

Hmm. Yes.

 

**Sky God**

That is more effusive than I ever expected you to be, Carolyn. Thank you.

I'm happier than I've been in my entire life.

See you soon.... Hopefully back in uniform.

:)


End file.
